A Naples, Florida, man was arrested last week after allegedly threatening a woman with a gun after she told him his car was smoking. When police arrived at the scene, the suspect, Mark Loescher, claimed he was half orangutan, before making various other wild claims.

The Huffington Post reports:

Florida police also say Loescher told them he was also Elvis Presley’s brother, a friend of President Bush, and director of the CIA.

The [Naples Daily News] also reports that Loescher allegedly told police that he needed to call the “Fusion Center” about his monkey blood.

Unfortunately, not even a monkey blood emergency can save you from the law. Loescher was immediately taken to the Naples Jail Center for booking.

Blink. Blink.

Hmm… Lil’ Kim looks… different! Another trip to the plastic surgeon, perhaps?

Nah, Time magazine editors had some fun with the cover’s headline this week for a feature on North Korea’s dictator Kim Jong Un.

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This is the moment a woman took a hard fall to the ground when she lost her footing going down stairs because she was texting!

No doubt disoriented, the woman attempts to slowly get up after hitting the platform, but concerned onlookers rush to her side and provide help.

The embarrassing tumble was caught on live TV during Canada’s CBC News broadcast – and it has already become a YouTube hit with more than 92,000 views.

WATCH THE VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP!

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