Butterface finished third in the 100 meters medley final at the World Cup meet in Stockholm, Sweden today–and critics are crying that it was a disappointing finish for him. But I say he should tell them to fuck off, or rather “Fan ta dig” (that’s in Rosetta Stone Swedish–he needs to keep his sponsors happy).

He told Swedish press: “I know I’m not in the best shape and I should be in better shape,” Phelps said. “I didn’t hit my first wall right, so it’s kind of disappointing but I’m happy overall.”

I’m happy overall, too. Especially because he opted to wear the traditional old-style swimsuit, rather than the high-tech full body suits the other competitors are using to kick his ass. He looks great, but should probably lay off the Subway Chicken Terrier sandwiches if he wants to be in the “best shape” for the next meet. But like I said, I like Butterface exactly how he is, and he can still sug min kuk and get it in the Arsel anytime, any place.

Let’s wish him luck, in Swedish. All together now: “Slampa!”

More images after the jump!

Via Guardian