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An Australian waitress is pissed off at allegations that she was performing oral sex on a man when the pair were involved in a serious car crash.
Allyson White was left with a deep scar and a hot temper after police raised questions about the accident–including suspicions that she was a prostitute. But none of that matters, really. What matters is her seriously awesome quotes. I have not seen a more realistic portrayal of Aussie class ever. Her eloquence is like a page out of Class With the Countess. Here’s what she told reporters:
“I was not sucking his d*** – and it’s pretty obvious that wasn’t the case … you only have to look at the mark on my chest,” she said.
“Clearly I had my seatbelt on, so it’s impossible that I’d be leaning over sucking his d*** unless he is hung like a donkey or I’ve got a f****** rubber neck.
“If it was true I’d just cop it sweet and think ‘how embarrassing, I got caught sucking someone’s d***’ - but it is not true and that’s what is p****** me off.
“It didn’t happen like that at all – he was just going too fast.”
And while police insist that “amorous activities” were the cause of the wreck, my new BESTIE Allyson “tell it like it is” White wants to set the record straight. If she’s going to a hoooo, she’s going to be a top dollar ho:
“I don’t understand where that story has come from,” she said.
“It may have looked bad when police first arrived as my girls were hanging out all over the place. I also had a $5 note wedged between my boobs so they probably just assumed I was a sex worker or something and he’d already paid me.
“But $5 is a bit cheap for a head job.”
