The hype has begun! The new season of Desperate Housewives starts next month, and ABC has already released the show’s new promo shots. The Daily Mail offers expert fanboy analysis:

The tag line ‘Never underestimate a housewife’ suggests that this season could see the friendships of the women pushed to the hilt.

Each poses as is ready for battle brandishing a different weapon. All except for Teri Hatcher’s character Susan, who holds a shield and pulls up her layered gown to reveal more than a hint of leg.

Could this hint at a series secret? Will Susan come under attack from the other housewives for acting as a temptress as she struggles with her feelings for her ex Mike?

And now I’d like to offer some analysis of my own:

Felicity Huffman (far right) actually looks hot for once, this suggests ABC up’d the budget for a gay make up artist OR they hired an incredibly gifted Photoshop expert to have her look as close as possible to Nicolette Sheridan, so nobody notices they killed her last season.

Dana Delaney looks boring. This hints that nothing has changed about her.

Marcia Cross looks like a man in a wig. This hints that nothing has changed about her.

Teri Hatcher looks thinner than Eva Longoria Parker. This suggests that Eva’s plot line as a fusty, fat housewife (fat = size 2) will continue in the new season, and Teri’s Karen-Carpenter-like sex appeal carries on as well.

Here’s a second promo shot under scrutiny by the Daily Mail:

Another image, released by bosses yesterday, shows the five women posing in evening gowns holding an item which may hold yet another clue to the series secrets.

Susan holds the iconic red apple, while Lynette (Felicity Huffman) brandishes a teddy bear, showing that babies are on the agenda in the Scavo household.

Will her unplanned pregnancy cause more strife in her home?

And with Gabrielle (Eva Longoria Parker), pushing a vacuum cleaner in an odd, and rather unflattering fishtail dress, will she be forced to take on more wifely duties?

And I’d like to offer my own analysis:

Since off-ing hotress Nicolette Sheridan, they need a new fabulous “tranny gurl” to appeal to the gays. Felicity Huffman has “been there, done that” (add Transamerica to your NetFlix queue), so naturally that leaves the new chick, Dana Delaney to channel her inner Tootsie:

Will she f*ck Michael Delfino with her d*ck? Or fork? Stay tuned for the September premiere!