Rags To Riches

A fine-as-hell rancher won one of the largest undivided jackpots in U.S. lottery history yesterday at $232 million.

Former poor bitch Neal Wanless, 23,won the ticket in Winner, SD, during a trip into town to buy livestock feed for his family’s 320-acre ranch–where they raise cattle, sheep, horses and hot shit sons to shirtlessly work the fields. The family’s property is located in Mission, SD–ranked the 7th-poorest area in the country.

mumbai_wanless

The Wanless ranch, at right, is not to be confused with the scenes of Mumbai from Slumdog Millionaire.

The winnings have come at a good time for the family because they were facing a lot of financial woes. Last year their mobile home was repossessed, they don’t own a phone and have fallen $3,552 behind in property taxes, The Huffington Post reports.

Dave Assman, who owns farmland next to the Wanless ranch, said he is happy the family won’t have to worry about money any more. “They’ve been real short on finances for a long time,” Assman said. “They are from real meager means, I guess you’d say.”

Wanless, who is single, plans on putting his money to good use by buying a larger home and repaying those who’ve been kind to him, he told reporters. No word on whether he intends to pay for Assman’s name change or buy more of those beautiful button down shirts printed with wild horses and clouds.

“I want to thank the Lord for giving me this opportunity and blessing me with this great fortune. I will not squander it,” he promised, wearing a big black cowboy hat and a huge grin.

He has opted for a lump some payment of $88.5 million after taxes.

moon_wanless

On a side note, I wonder if Waaaaangless’s Wild Horses and Clouds shirt might become a popular meme like the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt. Right?

Blog Widget by LinkWithin
  • Share/Save/Bookmark