With American Idol’s season coming to a close soon, you can look to NBC’s summer guilty pleasure series America’s Got Talent for your next song-and-dance competition fix. I’m sure you’ve seen the promos that have been running during Idol for the June 23 season opener. I recently sat down for about five or so hours at the Hammerstein ballroom in NYC for the tapping, and I have to say–I now see the appeal in the show. It’s a big effing train wreck of hot messes! Thank you, reality tv.

SPOILERS ahead!

:05- The family trio that’s singing performed the best the entire night and received a long, standing ovation. They were soooo adorable, and of course, had the most touching background story. Sharon was such a cry baby, and super cute in person. Needless to say, the group made it through to the next round.

:44- The New York City Gay Men’s Chorus performed Beyonce’s Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) and  let’s just say their twist on it makes Clay Aiken a man among men. Sharon and the Hoff thought the rendition was cute, but judge Piers Morgan told them they were “too flamboyant” and were “not his cup of tea,” yes, those are his words exactly. The audience reaction was a mixture of laughs, no boos a la Miss USA pageant. After a few fierce, bitchy exchanges between one of the chorus leaders on stage and Piers, the group agreed to sing another piece but performed it without the theatrics–as Simon Cowell would have delicately put it. After more professions of the gays loving Sharon Osbourne, yada yada, they were ultimately let through to the next round.

NOT IN THE CLIP:

NICK CANNON’S hot self was kept mostly behind stage and came out in the beginning of the show, the end, and maybe two more times in between the acts to add some of his humor and charm. And surprise, he didn’t mention his wife–you know, Mariah Carey.

DAVID HASSELHOFF: had so many touch ups of make up during the taping, I’m sure it made Sharon jealous. Also, he hawked a lot of his merchandise (T-shirts and whatnot) and signed tons of autographs during the downtime. That alimony check isn‘t going to write itself!

SHARON: She told an uptight, piano playing 16-year-old to loosen his tie–hoping that it might give his performance some more energy. When that didn’t work, she recommended that he should “get laid.” To which his mother came out and was not too pleased. Sharon, being soo cutesy-ootsey hid under the desk. The audience roared.

The last act of the night was some whack job couple who performed fire tricks, and it was the best thing all night. The female in the pair accidentally got a little too close to the flame and set her hair on FIRE! Stage hands had to rush to the stage with fire extinguishers to douse that ho before she turned in Ghost Rider. They were NOT let through. HAHAHA
But watch the show with me this season, it’s going to be hot mess central.