UK chatshow queen Alan Carr delicately quizzes Lindsay Lohan for updates on her sex life. “Are you Arthur or you Martha now?” he gently inquires. Lilo looks mortified by the grilling, and then he gets to the point with: “Are you back on the cock?” He’s just abusing his gay card with the raunch-talk. LOVE IT! Then he continues with a breakdown of lesbo sex: “I’ve got a lot of lesbian friends y’know…They like what a woman does to a woman,” he explains to Lindz (who–you know needs NO EXPLANATION OF THAT). This is the one interview that makes Lilo remotely interesting. Alan Carr: Chatty Man will air on UK’s channel 4 on Thursday at 10 p.m.