60 Minutes fossil Andy Rooney weighs in on the new U.S. Citizenship exam. Can you pass the new test?

A passing score is reached by answering six out of 10 questions correctly.

Here are some example questions from the old test:

• What are the colors of the American flag?
• Where is the White House?
• What are the two major political parties in the United States?

New test:

• The Federalist Papers supported the passage of the U.S. Constitution. Name one of the writers.
• The House of Representatives has how many voting members?
• What territory did the United States buy from France in 1803?

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I LOVE JOEL McHALE! E!’s The Soup issued this lolz parody music video of Gossip Girl slut Ed Westwick’s intense stares and cheesy talk. I’m Bored (You Ruined my Pants) pretty much sums up how I feel after watching it.

A beaver made a splash on “The Early Show” when it sprayed Correspondent Debbye Turner Bell during an animal segment.

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Jon Gosselin and Levi Johnston are clearly over-joyed on the NYC set of a taping for The Insider yesterday. They look like they’ve just been told “the check will take 6-12 weeks to process,” and then “say cheeeese.”

A UK’s Sky One channel conducted a live seance with spiritualist medium Derek Acorah, who communicated with Michael Jackson. Hardcore MJ fans were asked to participate, and one was left inconsolable after “Michael” told him he loved him. WTF!?!?!

Watch this convincing female (except she has not boobs) reveal that she’s actually a HE on Jerry Springer. I suspect this is exactly the way Giselle plans on telling Tom Brady. And in case you’re wondering, the new head security guard who replaced Steve Wilkos (who now has his own talk show) is Chicago policeman Pete Kelly–and I put some yummy photos of him after the jump. MAJOR UPGRADE, Jerry!

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