A South Carolina woman had to call 911 after a local cow got loose and fell into her pool. Was Kirstie Alley in town again? Kathy Wydareny, the home owner, believes the cow belonged to a neighbor and it had mistaken the pool’s cover for solid ground.
A Pennsylvania man faces charges after police say he beat his girlfriend with a cheesesteak.
The 33-year-old man, who wasn’t identified by police, allegedly argued with his 23-year-old girlfriend after midnight on Tuesday. He then struck the victim in the face with the cheesesteak. Harassment charges were filed with the police department.
A Florida man who attacked another man was arrested after police were able to identify him by the victim’s description–he had a dollar sign tattooed on his face. Deshawn Montaye McQueen, 30, was arrested for crack cocaine possession and was charged with felony aggravated battery after an officer remembered a man with a ‘$’ tattooed on his face had an arrest warrant. Epic.
A UK woman with a medical condition that gives her 300 orgasms a day has finally found a man who can satisfy her–a 32-year-old neighbor.
“I could do it 24 hours a day and so could he. I regularly run across the road to his house to have sex. We have sex at least 10 times every day,” says Michelle Thompson. A 43-year-old single mother of four who suffers from Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome–a condition that causes her to crave sex and climax every three minutes, even without a lover.
The conditioned forced her to quit her job in a biscuit factory because the machines kept setting her off, and it also ruined her love life–men were unable to keep up with her desires. But all of that changed after meeting her neighbor Andrew “Superman” Carr. “I can’t get enough of it,” Andrew says. “I burn her out some time.”
“Now I have a huge grin on my face all the time, and it’s not just because of the orgasms,” Michelle says.
Watch Michelle and Andrew in discuss how much they love doing-it in an interview with News of the World. During the interview, Michelle even orgasms while she’s speaking. Believe me, it’s a sight to see.
60 Minutes fossil Andy Rooney weighs in on the new U.S. Citizenship exam. Can you pass the new test?
A passing score is reached by answering six out of 10 questions correctly.
Here are some example questions from the old test:
New test:
You have two guesses as to why this man looks so thrilled in the above photo:
1) He just learned that the check for £250,000,000,000,000,000 he was sent from the Bank of Nigeria is not valid.
2) He just learned that he is to become a girlfriend to his well endowed cell mate.
Phoenix police say a 21-year-old Sean Sexton, an Arizona State University student, went batshit crazy outside a local check cashing store on October 28.
Sexton fired an Airsoft rifle at the store’s windows, causing more than $15,000 worth of damage.
When police arrived, Sexton fired at them. Fortunately, officers recognized it was an air rifle and didn’t return fire.
Police are unsure why Sexton fired at the business, but believe he may have had a vendetta against it. Long lines, perhaps? LESSON: get direct deposit. Sexton was arrested on charges of aggravated assault and felony criminal damage.
A deer was found dead after it rammed a 640-pound concrete statue of an elk in the backyard of a Wisconsin man.
Bucks usually fight each other during breeding season, but unfortunately for this 180-pound deer, the life-like statue that was nearly three times its weight was no match for a fight.
After ramming the statue like a mountain goat, the deer staggered 20 feet and fell dead.
The man who owns the elk statue butchered the deer, and left the statue on its side because it’s too heavy to move, he says.
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