Do you want to know the secret to having a PERFECT BODY by just lying in bed? Yes, you read it right: simply lying in bed!

No need to work out or break a sweat, just do what you you do best: NOTHING.

SECRET TO HAPPINESS AFTER THE JUMP!

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What will they think of next? They’ve got dolls that pee, dolls that poop, dolls that burp. And now a doll that dilates its V and quiffs out a baby!!! I wonder if the baby doll has audio to cry, and the mommy doll has audio to ask for child support.

A 10-year-old girl in Australia has captured singer Pink’s breath in a bottle, and she’s got it up for sale on Ebay!

All together now: WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The seller claims that her daughter was able to get close enough to Pink at her Funhouse tour in Melbourne, back in August, and captured the So What singer’s breath.  “My daughter is such a huge fan that she thought of this on her own and got close enough for her to breath in the bottle and catch her breath in a bottle,” she wrote.

Already at 18 bids, the bottled breath has jumped to almost $30. Pink took to Twitter to respond (READ: Let everyone know that this bish is crazy):

@Pink: Wow. Someone is selling my breath on ebay. My breath. How did they get my BREATH?!?

Here’s the description from the seller:

PINK’S BREATH IN A BOTTLE

YES WEIRD BUT TRUE

This was captured by my 10 year old at her Melbourne concert .on the 14th of August 2009

My Daughter is such a huge Fan That she Thought of this on her own and got close enough for her to breath in the bottle ,

She has kept This bottle since the concert BUT She now wants to save any from this bottle money to try and meet Pink One Day So thats why she has decided to sell it.

My Daughter Has asked that it go to someone that will Tresure it and Respect it for What it REALLY IS

She has also Taken Pics with the Ticket So you Know she was really at the concert

The bottle has never been opened since as there is no way in the world she would EVER allow it .

More images after the jump!
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For $5, you can cover up your dog or kitty’s EMBARRASSING exposed anus. Y’know, because animals are so ashamed to be naked. I believe Johnny Weir has one for his anus, though instead of a flower pedal, it’s in the shape of a bullseye.

Here’s a product description:

Is your pet feeling left in the dirt because of his/her unsightly rear? I’ve got them covered… Rear Gear is handmade in Portland, OR and offers a cheerful solution to be-rid your favorite pet’s un-manicured back side.

Rear Gear comes in many designs including a disco ball, air freshener, heart, flower, biohazard, smiley face, number one ribbon, cupcake, sheriff’s badge, dice, and you can even make yours custom, so there’s a Rear Gear for everyone.

Via Etsy

Ice T’s glamour model wife Coco showed off her new bedazzled toy today! And no, it doesn’t vibrate. She posted a picture to her Twitter page of a bright pink blinged-out laptop, and wrote:

For Xmas,Ice got me a new computer & the crystal cover just came in the mail(waited 2 months)Its so pretty!Thanks icy-couture.com & my honey. My new blinged-out computer!!Girls just love sparkle!I’m so in a good mood.This is Hott!

Recently she gave a great interview to Celebuzz and provided exclusive new photos of her lovely lady lumps, and was also chatted up JimmyJazz.com where she unraveled the mystique that is Coco:

On being labeled a “dumb blonde”
I get that all the time but I get more out of people when I act like that.  They don’t think you’re smart so they will tell you smart stuff.  I just calculate it in my head and later on I’ll go to Ice and say this person told me this.  So I’m a magnet and I absorb a lot.  I act dumb but that’s only to collect information.

On the fitness competition that almost killed her:
Winning Miss Eugenia in the fitness competition in Mexico was the hardest thing in my life.  I almost died.  They work you to the bone.  I passed out so many times.  There was exhaustion, no eating and drinking no water ’cause you don’t want that in your tissues.  So I was literally dying but I said I need to win and I did.  I’ll never do a fitness competition again.

On her upcoming Licious Jeans line:
I’ve always had problems with things on the rack fitting me.  I would have to get them cut and have them trimmed in the waist.  So I’m like why not do a line with just jeans with stretchy material for women shaped like me?  I don’t think you need to be super skinny.  So we got some great fabulous designs and girls are gonna go crazy.  I can’t wait.  Even those guys that get dressed up in girl stuff will love it!

And another gem from her Twitter page, she posted this photo on Tuesday before heading to the NYC premiere of the Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, Ethan Hawke, Wesley Snipes flick Brooklyn’s Finest (in theaters Friday):

Here’s alittle fashion show for u before I go out.Profile of my Roberto Cavalli dress.Do you like?

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!

Brooklyn’s Finest trailer after the jump!

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The Guidofy iPhone app allows nearly 50 different customizations to turn anyone into a fist-pumping Jersey Shore d-bag. It has great options to transform a regular photo into  that sophisticated Guido look by adding certain extras like: blowouts, shades, bronzer, gold necklaces and even wife beaters and abs! It’s only 99 cents. Just look at Jay Leno–douche face before, and douche face x 10 after.

I’ve got the perfect gift for old geezers, grandmas and Susan Boyle! The SHOEDINI! “The world’s first shoehorn that lets you get your shoes–on and off–with ease.” That’s right, no bending over for those of you who don’t get enough practice doing that, and for those of you who do like to bend over, I believe this long-handled device could creatively serve dual purposes.

And who knew Gilbert Gottfried would have a revived career as an infomercial pitchman? It must be that soothing voice of his. His voice has already soothed us with Aflac trivia commercials during EVERY televised sports game.

Via AdFreak