Ladies (and fellas): If you haven’t seen a guy with a long stubbie yet, you don’t know what you’re missing.

I guarantee you’ve never seen graphics like this before–a scene from ‘80-rific The Worst Witch.

I asked, you answered. According to last week’s poll, your favorite juice box is Squeeze-its with 44% of the vote. Followed by Capri Sun at 36% and Hi-C and Juicy Juice tie at 10%.

The youngest member of the Hanson brood, 23-year-old Zac, steps away from the drum kit to belt out a pretty decent cover of Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing at the Hanson show in Tulsa, Okla., on Wednesday.

At about :48 into the clip, he can see him grab his peen and say “All I need is tighter pants.” INDEED! The trio has blossomed from girly-looking preteen punchlines to 20-something hotties.

Has anybody seen the gay murder mystery flick Cruising? It stars Al Pacino and is loosely-based on a real-life story of a serial killer targeting gay men in New York City in the 1970s. I came across this awesome seen of pwnage and thought i’d share. What is the deal with the random beefy black dude in the cowboy hat and thong? He’s in the movie specifically to bitch slap people? And is he available for parties?

Let’s all agree that people who are stupid enough to get scammed, pretty much deserve it. For those of you who helped finance a Nigerian prince or got charged an additional $50 to your phone bill to hear Paula Abdul’s pre-recorded message–twice–I have no sympathy for you. Just take a look at some of these ridiculous 900 numbers from the ’80s and ’90s and explain to me how anyone could possibly dial them:

Crying hotline
Cost: $2 per minute
What it is: People sobbing uncontrollably
Cheaper alternative: Hear Heidi Montag sing and you too will sob uncontrollably.

Secret confessions
Cost: $2 first minute. $1 each additional minute
What it is: Listen in privately to women confessing their inner most feelings
Cheaper alternative: Go to the JJB message boards or Twitter to find out about people burning their toast

Freddy Kruger hotline
Cost: $2 first minute, 45 cents each additional minute
What it is: Listen to a child murderer tell you bed time stories. Ask mom and dad for permission first!
WTF: As a child, this commercial scared me. As an adult, this commercial made me shit myself all over again.

UFO hotline
Cost: $2 first minute, 35 cents each additional minute
Cheaper alternative: Read Weekly World News or Star magazine. Both are filled with far more entertaining lies.

Santa hotline:
Cost: 69 cents per minute
What it is: Call Santa at home in the North Pole
Cheaper alternative: Take your kids to the fucking mall

Continue Reading…

Do you remember Devon Sawa? He was a ’90s heartthrob of sorts who starred in such hits as Wild America, Final Destination and Idle Hands. As of late, he’s been working steadily in indie flicks. And in just 10 years since his break out success, he’s become almost unrecognizable. What do you think about his current look? Is he aging gracefully for a 31-year-old?

And now, he looks like he has morphed into 50-year-old Viggo Mortensen (at right).

Above, a clip from Final Destination.