It’s been nearly a week since Whitney Houston’s burial following her untimely death on the eve of the Grammys, and already the magazines (blogs too, *wink*) have been shamelessly exploiting her name.

Her music sales have boomed. The Bodyguard is slated for a re-release with bells and whistles, and a higher price tag.

But we must have more.

That’s where some enterprising online merchants come in. A sweep of sites like Etsy and eBay yield some quizzical tribute products being shilled to cash in while she’s still in the headlines.

So let’s take a look at the nine most ridiculous intriguing Whitney Houston tribute items for sale.

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1. Whitney Houston Certificate to Heaven: An eBay merchant from Los Angeles is selling a paper certificate that proves Whitney Houston is singing from above. The certificate reads: “According to the book of truth, the living word of God, believer Whitney Houston has earned her eternal reward in heaven.” $19 (eBay)

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2. Whitney Houston Soap: According to the product description, it’s a .5 oz of cold process soap made with olive oil and includes Whitney’s image on the bar. $.99 (eBay)

3. Whitney Houston Fingernail Decals: Why not wear Whitney on your tips? Sold as a set of 20, $2.95. (eBay) *Photo above is not the actual product, it’s a photo illustration. I would’ve made the caption blink and flash in a glittery red, but it’s late.

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4. Whitney Houston Oyster Head: Whitney’s image attached to an oyster shell. The sellers writes: “I can just about form any photo image, around a half oyster shell, that anyone may wish to have done.” $10 (Etsy).

5. Whitney Houston Rubber Bracelets: The words “Whitney Houston, in loving memory 1963-2012″ adorn a Live-Strong-like 1″-wide bracelet. Various colors, $4.99 (eBay)

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6. Whitney Houston’s Head (caricature doll): Felt material doll that resembles Whitney Houston’s face. Body sold separately (actually, not at all). The seller writes: “My miniature caricature dolls are made from 100% wool, and are crafted with loving hands.” $81.98 (Etsy)

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7. Whitney Houston as a cat, Queen of the Night painting: This is disturbing and amazing at the same time. The seller writes: “Here she is in all of her glory in the Queen of the Night garb, but as a meowing cat. She’s painted on a 6″x7″ bamboo hardwood flooring sample” $65 (Etsy).

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8. Whitney Houston in a Bottle Pendant: A piece of paper with her image and name stuffed into a decorate bottle. The seller writes: “What a romantic and artistic way to express our deep feeling to Miss Houston. This is a One-Of-A-Kind jewel that we can keep close to our heart.” $8.95 (Etsy)

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9. Whitney Houston Tribute Finger Puppet: It’s made from felt. The seller writes: “Details include signature body wave hair style, loop earrings, and classy blazer. This finger puppet is a tribute to this fantastic artist. This puppet will fit most fingers but will work on pens, pencils, chopsticks, and the like.” Ray J will buy this. $14 (Etsy)