Arena–a movie entirely based on the premise of Kellan Lutz shirtless–has gone straight to DVD.

How is that possible? Well, for some of you it actually went straight to the sperm bank first (bah dum bum psssh), but for the rest of us it’s now ready to download on Pirate Bay stream on NetFlix.

Perhaps the poor reception has something to do with the low budget effects–note the obviously glued-on scar that looks like a free sticker that comes with every purchase of Garbage Pail Kids trading cards.

At times like this I defer to the wisdom of RuPaul’s Drag Race goddess Mariah Balenciaga: “You can be dramatic and be smooth and polished and everything blend in. I’m tired of seeing patches and blotches of highlight here and there. No ma’am! Gurl, smooth that shit out. Blend it out.”

Samuel L. Jackson and Nina Dobrev also co-star in the action-thriller.

Here’s the synopsis:

David Lord finds himself forced into the savage world of a modern gladiatorial arena, where men fight to the death for the entertainment of the online masses.

Watch Kellan on the big screen in Immortals on November 11 and Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 on November 18.

Trailer + photos after the jump!