Cracked.com has come up with the top 25 male celebrities who look like hot mess female gym teachers lesbiannas. Coming in at number one is olympic and facelift legend Bruce Jenner.

Don’t you love those heartwarming stories like when people have to strip down–completely naked, show off their ripped body and dive into freezing water to save a drowning doggie?
Apparently finely aging “Real World” alum hot piece Eric Nies rescued a puppy from a frozen lake at Bear Mountain in upstate New York when he heroically (media whore) jumped in for a rescue. Did he learn that from Hobby on “Confessions of a Teen Idol?”